When I was online dating I saw a lot of online dating profile mistakes that men make. Now that I write profiles for others though, I find myself regularly reading the dating profiles of women. As such, I catch a number of mistakes that my beloved gender makes.
Here are the top three and how to correct them.
1) Shots of you and all your friends.
Many women post too many photos of themselves surrounded by their girlfriends. There are two reasons why this is a big online dating mistake.
First, it makes it hard to figure out which one you are. In addition, not only are you lost among the others, group shots usually aren’t clear given the limited space you have on most dating sites.
Another reason why this is big online dating mistake is because a guy can easily click onto your photo and find himself attracted to one of your friends.
I’m not suggesting that all group shots are a bad idea. After all, showing a social scene can be dynamic. However, make sure that most of your photos, and especially your main online dating profile picture, is clearly of you.
2) Ranting rather than writing.
You’d be amazed at how many women use their online dating profiles as an opportunity to rant. Perhaps their first dating profile was warm and welcoming, but they ended up disillusioned and changed their approach. I don’t know. I have a really hard time figuring this out.
That said, rants are a nasty way to address a guy who shows an interest in you. Imagine if you clicked on a man’s dating profile only to have insults flung at you. Women’s profiles are filled with allusions to men being jerks, pervs and game players.
It’s appalling how some women talk to men dating online.
If you don’t want wrong guys contacting then simply don’t attract them. Write a profile that clearly defines who you are and what you’re looking for – and do it in a positive, upbeat way. It won’t stop all the wrong matches from contacting, but it will minimize the hits.
Here’s a thought too – if you keep being hit on by the worst kind of men, then perhaps it’s not them, it’s you. If you have a pattern, then fix it before you demand changes from complete strangers.
3) Being too sexual
Oh those cleavage shots. On one hand they’re so sexy. On the other hand, they’re so sexy. People make quick judgments online (and off) and often those first impressions stick. So you have to decide what impression you want to make.
Do you want a man to see you and think of sex or do you want a man to see you and think of romance?
If you’re looking to hook up, then flaunting your sexuality with provocative photos is completely appropriate. However, if you want a guy who isn’t just looking for a one-night stand, then your photos have to deliver reach the right guy by sending the right message.
My suggestion is to show off some of your best physical features but do it more flirtatiously than overtly. That way you can be seen as attractive and sexy, rather than merely sexy.
A final piece of advice.
As an ad writer turned online dating profile writer, there’s one solid marketing tip that will help you create a better online dating presentation and that is: consider the “customer”.
In other words, before putting together your presentation, be sure to understand the mindset of men. That way, you can appeal to them in the most relevant and powerful way.
For more help, check out my samples, as well as my services. I do phone consultations, as well as dating profiles using your expressions and anecdotes to keep it honest. Better yet, just get started with the personality questionnaire and then send your answers to me.