It’s the fourth of July weekend when my mind turns to fireworks.
Then it turns ever so slightly more and leads me straight to thoughts of online dating, specifically online dating profiles.
Do you know how many profiles have variations of “we’ll know when we meet”? I was online for no more than five minutes and found 16.
All were followed by the 1) naive 2) lazy 3) imposing assertion that this eliminates any need for emails and, in some cases, complete profiles.
If you yourself use this kind of tactic, I have to ask – have you actually thought it through? Are you really so stunning and charismatic that someone can sit down at a place no more glamorous than a coffee shop, take one look at you, and instantly feel a chemical reaction so powerful that it ignites conversation that’s nothing short of spectacular?
Not to put a damper on all that spark but chemistry is more than just looks. If you simply show up for a meet and greet, with little engagement beforehand, then you risk having a dull and awkward conversation that no amount of good looks will excuse.
Instead, be realistic. Fill out your profile in a way that makes you interesting and make sure to get a conversation going through email. Emails are a great way to break the ice online so that you don’t have to find ways to do it offline.
When you get all the “what do you like to do for fun” and “what do you do for work” out of the way then you can start getting into the next level of personal exchanges – the ones that allow a little more depth and humor to shine through.
After you’ve established a few ice breakers, that’s the time to meet. That’s when you can actually sit down at a busy coffee shop and follow up the initial smile with some relaxed conversation, maybe even a little playful banter. When all these things are in place, that’s when chemistry has a chance to ignite.
Don’t underestimate the power of emails for getting the flow going. If you move too fast, you don’t give yourself the opportunity to have the online equivalent of subtle seduction and anticipation. Instead, you risk showing up and having nothing to say.
How to create a great dating profile?
Start by taking my personality questionnaire. It’ll help you uncover interesting anecdotes that could be included in your dating profile. Then, send your answers to me. I can improve your dating profile through a phone consultation or by rewriting your profile from scratch (I use your stories and expressions so that it’s an honest representation).