Thanks http://tonyontheradio.tumblr.com/ for the image!
I was scanning random dating profiles the other day looking for inspiration. I do that often. I pick a dating site and read through its various dating profiles. I then find myself so shocked by the poor judgment singles exercise that I end up writing a blog filled with cleverly scribed outrage (well, clever according to me).
Not this time though. This time, the poor judgment was mine.
You see, I read the dating profile of a woman who, by her photos alone, promised to be outrageous. After all, she had more body art than she did cleavage – and she had a lot of cleavage. Most of her photos comprised of her in a low cut black dress and thigh high black boots. The only color came from the tats on her breasts and streaks in her hair.
Looking at them, I was sure that she could be featured in my “Agony Series” of blogs.
As it turns out, she was lovely. A sweet, sincere woman who loves to sing, try new things, has a great sense of humor, and who’s training for her first big run – for charity, no less.
Ugh.
I felt like a jerk and, of course, I was a jerk. I judged a book by its cover (such a personal fail given that I have good friends who run the gamut from goth gals and biker babes to church ladies – not to mention god-fearing goth biker babes).
Worse still, when I finally looked at her photos again with an open mind, I realized that I missed the real message – and true beauty – in each one. That is, I missed the fact that her smile was warm and her eyes sparkled with fun in every single shot.
There are two lessons here.
The first, clearly, is to go beyond the photos. More specifically, go beyond the shallow nature of online dating. To do that though you need to master the second lesson first – go online with an open heart and an open mind.
Don’t get so caught up in your settings (age, income, location…who cares!) and your idea of “perfect” that you miss what really matters. Imagine spending your life with someone with a big smile, mischievous eyes, a generous spirit, and a desire to embrace everything life has to offer? If I was a straight man (she was a straight female), I would have missed a life-enhancing opportunity all because …did I mention that I was a jerk?
So male, female, gay, straight – go online seeking the right cues from dating photos – smiles, warmth and playfulness – and then read the profiles and see if you’re genuinely a match.
On final note
A lot of people have difficulty finding the right photos and words that truly describe them, but I can help. As an ad writer with 20 years experience making products stand out, I now use those same techniques to make singles stand out in the competitive environment of online dating.
Check out my online dating profile samples and see for yourself. Or, go straight to the personality questionnaire and send me your answers – you’ll be amazed at what I can do with them. It’s the first step in making your online dating profile different and more interesting than anyone else’s.
