I read a blog the other day by a woman lamenting the fact that a man she’d been writing to on JDate had suddenly stopped writing. She couldn’t understand it. Worse still, she had heard about this happening to others too.
“Why, oh why, do guys do that?”, she asked.
Meanwhile I had a friend complain that he had sent a woman an email and that she never even bothered to open it. He couldn’t figure out why she’d ignored his advance given that he’s a pretty attractive guy (my guess is that it had little to do with his looks and more to do with the fact that his profile was lazily crafted).
Another friend shared the fact that she had a great first date with a guy and was really disappointed when she never heard from him again. She kept trying to figure out what she might have said wrong or what it was that she didn’t pick up on.
Personally, I think that the biggest question you need to ask isn’t “why”, it’s “so what?”
So what if a stranger suddenly decides he doesn’t feel like writing you anymore. He’s a stranger. His opinion of you matters not.
So what if a woman decides you’re not her type? She doesn’t even know you. How could she even know if you’re her type simply by looking at a one-dimensional digital image of you?
And, so what if you have a great date then never hear from a guy you’ve only met once – you’ve only met him once!
Don’t focus on what you can’t control. Focus on what you can.
Forget what the other person thinks and feels. They’re strangers. There could be any number of reasons behind what motivates them and, because they’re strangers, you’re in no position to guess.
Online dating is like anything else – there are good experiences and bad ones. If you’re going to question anything, question whether or not your experiences are just the normal ups and downs associated to dating this way. If they aren’t, and you’re consistently finding yourself unsuccessful, then question your presentation.
How are your photos? How’s your hair? Did you select flattering clothes? What about your dating profile – have you truly crafted it or did you slap it all together in a hurry? Are your emails interesting enough to get replies? Are you picking the wrong types?
In other words, look at what you can control (your presentation) and not at what you can’t control (the fickle nature of strangers). Don’t let online dating lead you to question your self-worth. All you have to question is whether or not you’re presenting yourself in a way that does justice to that worth.
If your presentation is as good as it can be, but you get the occasional snub from a virtual stranger, then so what? They don’t know what they’re missing. Truly, they don’t!
Question for you.
Have you ever suddenly stopped writing someone and, if so, why?
How to improve your online dating presentation.
I’m a marketing expert, as well as an online dating profile writer, so I know the value of a great presentation and I can help you create one. I offer three services from 15-minute consultations to full online dating profile writing (customized to sound like you!).
Better yet, get started with my personality questionnaire. It’s the first step toward a dynamic dating profile. Once you’ve completed it, be sure to send your answers to me so I can work my magic!