I write online dating profiles based on marketing techniques I learned over many years working in ad agencies as a writer. As an online dating profile writer, I now put a positive spin on people rather than products. Check out my samples of online dating profiles and see the difference marketing makes.
Best online dating advice: be yourself.
In advertising, it’s common for agencies to pitch a client’s account. Essentially, a pitch is the equivalent of a job interview. For one, an agency is expected to make a great presentation upon meeting the client. For another, there’s always more than one candidate.
Throughout my years in advertising, I’ve noticed two kinds of ad agencies: those that present ideas they honestly believe will benefit a client; and those that try to win an account by presenting ideas they think a client wants to hear. I once worked for an agency like the latter. We spent weeks preparing a pitch that we didn’t actually believe would serve the client. However, we did believe we’d be saying what the client wanted to hear and, as a result, we expected to get the business.
Well, we didn’t. Instead, an agency known for its uncompromising advertising principles won the client and its substantial revenue. To our surprise, the client didn’t want an agency that pandered to its whims. It wanted one with integrity and value.
What galled me most about that experience wasn’t the time we wasted trying to second-guess how the client would evaluate us. Nor was it that we failed. It was that we failed – not on our terms – but on what we presumed were someone else’s.
In reading a number of relationship articles lately (online dating advice and online dating blogs), I’ve been reminded of that incident – where second-guessing and disingenuously trying please was a tactic chosen in favor of integrity and self-respect.
I read an article telling women to play hard to get. Conversely, I read another article about the appeal of assertive women. I also read an article suggesting that, because men don’t like emails, women should forego that process in online dating and go straight into meeting a complete stranger. I even read an article encouraging women to write a loving, accepting letter if a man asks for space. Personally, I think that if a guy asks for space then writing him a letter imposes on it.
The articles made men sound like the sophomoric buffoons played by Jim Belushi or those portrayed on Two and a Half men.
Of course, there were just as many articles on how to attract a woman. In reading these, I learned that my gender thinks that men who are not communicative, not respectful and not accommodating are sexy. Oh, and on that note, apparently women aren’t visual. Who cares how you look, we don’t respond to tight butts or baby blues (sorry People Magazine the overwhelming popularity of your “Sexiest Man Alive”edition is actually because of the articles).
Ultimately, the message in all these articles is that you need to say and do whatever it takes to make a suitor want you, rather than do what it takes to find one you want.
In short, you don’t count. Your needs, your interests, your feelings – none of it matters. What matters is that you adapt and accommodate to snag a suitor. The overwhelming message to singles is, “don’t be yourself, be what the opposite sex wants you to be”. Like the ad agency I worked for whose pitches were designed to pander to a client rather than promote its own value, advice to singles encourages them to deny their self-worth and their needs.
Worse still, imagine putting all that effort into “not being you”, only to be rejected? Or, as my friend Darlene said, imagine being accepted for someone you’re not? It too is demoralizing.
There’s a lot of conflicting advice out there. However, the one constant is you. So be true to yourself. Rather than adapt to find a match that wants you, use that energy to find a match that you want.
For singles dating online, the best way to be true to yourself is with online dating profile that’s unique to you. So get yours started now by completing the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do, but will help you uncover some of your unique traits. From there, all you have to do is incorporate the most interesting ones into your dating profile.
Better yet, hire me to do it for you. With 20 years experience as an ad writer I’m trained to make you stand out against the competition. See for yourself. Check out the online dating samples of my work.
