As an online dating profile writer, I’m privy to what men and women are looking for in a partner. I’ve noticed that men, more often than women, tend to be the most unrealistic when it comes to selecting a match. As such, a lot of men feel that online dating is a bust.
Truthfully, a lot of factors affect success when online dating – everything from who’s online when you are to the ratio of men and women in your region. These elements are out of your control.
However, what is in your control – is how realistically you choose a match. Though I’ve had some of the nicest male clients, I’m often surprised at how superficial they become once they go online. They will set their sights on women who they’d never think to approach in real life.
I’ve seen newly-divorced men in their fifties send emails to gorgeous young women in their thirties. It never occurs to them that their competition isn’t other men in their fifties – it’s all the young, fit, age-appropriate men who are also after these same women.
I once had the sweetest, gentlest client – a young guy of 26 years old – go online after investing all that time and money on his profile, only to select party girls. It wasn’t that they were “out of his league”. It was that they were entirely wrong for him. More importantly, he was wrong for them.
Here’s what men need to know: they aren’t the only ones hitting on the trophy girls. Instead of picking someone by using superficial criteria, be genuine. Pick women with whom you truly believe you can be yourself. Pick women who will love the computer geek in you or the comic book nerd or the shy artist that you are. Pick appropriately.
Remember that there may be thousands of women out there, but they aren’t all out there for you. One might be and that’s the one you need to expend your energies on. Picking appropriately will not only increase your odds, it’s more likely to keep your self-esteem in tact. Rejection is tough. So, while it’s commendable to take risks, make sure that they’re calculated ones.
On a final note, to increase your chances of attracting the right match, write your dating profile in a way that’s truly engaging. Better still, let me. I spent years as an ad writer using persuasive, positive copy to make one product get picked over another. Now I use that same skill to help my clients compete online (and it’s far more rewarding!). I use all your words and anecdotes so that it’s a true representation of you – and not of me. However, I’m persuasive enough to put it all together so that you stand out.