Online Dating Profiles and the meaning of lol.

Oh my God, is right!

I just learned that the Oxford dictionary has added some more words that could ruin the English language and, essentially, everything dear to me. And, no, I’m not being melodramatic. They’ve added “whatevs” and “obvs” among this. This hurts in ways I can’t express – but if I could – I would most certainly express using entire words.

Here’s an article about the 35 modern words now added to the dictionary.

Below, however, you’ll find a blog post I did awhile back about the subject. I think it deserves another read. I really, really, really do.

Here goes:

Sometime around March 24th of this year, a piece of news hit the world and changed the quality of my life forever. The Oxford English dictionary declared lol (abbreviation for laugh out loud) as an official part of the English language. While I huddled in the fetal position and had a silent breakdown, the world continued on its merry way. Charlie Sheen won, and then lost on tour. Glenn Beck announced his leave from Fox. Rehab and reno shows continued to proliferate. I even think Vanilla Ice announced a comeback to do something that someone thinks is worth televising.

In short, the world continued to turn (note that I didn’t say evolve – a word that’s probably extinct thanks to Oxford’s idea of progress) even though my world, as I once knew it, ceased to exist.

Okay, so let’s say I temporarily entertain the notion that these three letters are considered English. Fact is, when I scan online dating profiles – where “lol” is ubiquitous (big words are still words!) – it’s clear to me that Oxford has not adequately described what those letters truly mean.

First, let’s examine what lol actually is. John Stewart’s Daily Show is lol. Chelsea Lately can be lol. The Kardashians, for all the wrong reasons, are lol (as is Billy Bush for that matter). I’m on Twitter and every day I look for tweets by Badbanana (an ad guy, by the way) because virtually every statement the man makes is laugh out loud funny. Here are just a few:

. Don’t mess with me right now or I will roll my eyes at you so freaking hard
. If eggnog were any thicker and whiter, Ice-T would marry it.
. Just took a job ghost-eating meals for an actress.
. You had me at “get in the van”

Now let’s examine what’s preceding lol on some of the online dating profiles that I’ve happened upon. Maybe I’m too critical (which I don’t actually believe, but feel obligated to say), but are any of these lol?

I like fishing especially in the summer when it’s nice and hot lol

I’m shy but I like a good conversation lol

I am originally from Chicago so some here say that I have an ‘accent’ LOL

I’m looking for a man who loves to laugh lol

Man up or shut up lol

Looking for someone who cares about my day lol

Looking for men, not boys lol

I’m not high maintenance lol

I like sex as much as the next person (maybe more lol)

If you like chocolate, me too lol!

I have a very demanding job that I love lol

I like swimming and boating. I like anything to do with water recreation lol

I’m not suggesting that there aren’t witty quips on dating profiles. I’ve seen many. I’m just suggesting that lol often seems to follow playful or light –hearted statements rather than ones that are meant to make you laugh out loud. More importantly, lol sounds as though you’re laughing at your own jokes. So, though it’s now officially part of the English language, it’s not an expression that you need to use. Instead of saying that something is lol, just demonstrate your wit with great lines and anecdotes. If it’s lol, the person reading it will laugh out loud without the need for instructions.

Better yet, hire me – an ad writer and marketing expert – to write your online dating profile. That way, every statement is designed to get the reaction you want whether it’s a loud laugh or an unexpected wink in your inbox.

So get started with the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do and yet it will help uncover your unique traits – which are at the heart of a great online dating profile. Still not sure? Then feel free to check out the online dating samples of my work.

By the way – though I certainly recommend that you follow Badbanana on Twitter – I also recommend you follow my tweets for entertaining tips on marketing yourself. Lastly, I’d love to see you on Facebook.

Okay, okay…enough self-promotion!